It was one of those days. The kind of days you wanted to stay in bed so much that you hit the alarm clock off your bed stool. It wouldn’t stop blaring and you had had enough of it from the moment it started. You turn to your other side, squeezing yourself into the softness of your bed, pulling your blanket tighter. Maybe it is the weather that is extra cold or maybe it is just you seeking extra warmth to soothe yourself back to sleep. Whichever the case, you draw your favourite pillow over your face. The chill must have no chance.
As you try to shift back to being still and fast asleep, you begin to fill your mind with quiet thoughts. Or at least, you try to. If a thought wasn’t calming enough, you dismissed it and searched for another. Anything that kept you awake was not worth it. You sought only those that got you to stop thinking. That is why, when you think about the pile of school projects on your reading desk, you dismiss the thought. And when your empty fridge comes to mind, you do not waste time getting the image out of your head. The quickest to be shoved was that of the mass of hair on your head. You skipped washday last weekend and it seemed you’d be missing another one. The eight jumbo cornrows wrapped beneath your satin scarf will have to endure a few more days. Thankfully, your scalp wasn’t complaining. Yet.
It gets harder. Sleep seems farther out of reach. Ugh. You let out a frustrated sigh but not loudly. Perhaps, staying quiet would tell your body that you really still desire sleep. Yesterday, after all, was hell. You had spent hours on the sewing machine, getting the dresses ready for the launch of your fashion line. It was your biggest project yet. While you manage being a part-time Business student, being a fashion designer has always been your dream. And you are finally getting to realize it at 26.
Even as you lie down, your back slightly aches from having sat all day but since it is for something you love, you don’t complain. It is the bulk school assignments that you dread. But you still refuse to give it much thought because sleep is your current priority.
Realising that you are still awake, you pull the pillow away from your face. It is encased in purple-coloured silk and the embroidered lone lily in the middle makes it your favourite, out of the six pillows your bed owns. The blue cotton one is your least favourite. Besides the fact that it does not seem to match anything else in the room, it is cotton. But for reasons even you do not know, you do not get rid of it. You stare at the lily for a while. It seems like only yesterday when you made the pillowcase but it wasn’t. It was a random day three years ago when your mum tried to teach you how to crochet. You had said it was too difficult but you gave it a try anyway and the lily was the result of your efforts. That was one of the last things you did with your mother before she died. It was cruel of life that it would send her away unexpectedly, in a motor accident. But you were determined to make her proud and never give up on your dreams.
At 26, many people had ideas of what they thought you should be. “You should be married already, you know?” “When I was your age, I already had two kids.” “At 26, you really should have a stable job and be settled with a man.” But not your mother. She was always supportive and only thought you needed to be the best version of yourself. It was one of the reasons you loved her exceptionally.
You always get teary when you remember your mum and you don’t realize it but your sheets start to get wet. When you do realize, you shut your eyes. A few seconds pass and you reopen them. “No sleep then, I guess” you mutter. Taking off your blanket, you sit up. “Well then, hello Sunday.”